Thoughts from the Submarine

Submerged

Finding truth below the surface...

Our church took Backyard Kids Club to the inner-city kids of Hamilton, OH and it was a great stretching experience for me and the other teen leaders. They are an energetic bunch, so they could be a handful sometimes but it was sweet to see how the kids flooded us leaders with love and hugs. I hope I touched their lives in some way because they definitely impressed things upon my heart that I want to share here.

(Journal entry from 6/14/16)

I think God gave us a miracle tonight. Honestly, after the first night of BKC at Hamilton, I was like “I can’t handle this.” Every instinct in my body told me to retreat. Which sounds kinda melodramatic, but quite accurate. As an introvert and someone who crumbles in the face of conflict, I almost dreaded going back there today. Not exactly the fearless music leader I think I need to be…. Like I can be a confident light for God on stage, in my element. But when the music turns off and the lights fade, I have to be the adult in the room who can connect lovingly with the kids and yet be a firm adult at the same time. That takes WAY more social skill than I possess. What Firebird really wants to do is what she’s done all her life: sit aside and be the quiet/smart/obedient girl in the group while the adults handle the rowdy ones. But now I’m the adult.

*alarms go off in head*

*fights off urge to run to the nearest corner and stay there until the noise is over*

Today was all God. I cried out to Him in the bathroom before BKC today because I knew that I could not deal with these kids alone, these kids who I judged/sat as far away from as possible in my past. Any and all loving connections made tonight were such a clear answer to prayer. Monday night, I was exhausted-which is what life is when we live life our own way-exhausting. But tonight, I was jumping up and down after BKC…. I sprinted out of there like I could’ve run a marathon. I said I was running on adrenalin, but I realize now that I was running on Holy Spirit adrenalin. God gives us endless energy supply for what He needs us to accomplish. Far more, in fact. I had energy to spare!!! Miracles still happen, fam. God is alive and well. Look around, see the world through Jesus’ eyes, and seize every opportunity to do His will. Give all the credit to Him, and you will be blessed. Humbled. Honored. Join me in this journey of grace.

~Firebird
Look. Listen. Always find the beauty. 

Thoughts on a dragon

Pain.

It's something we we all think about, but rarely truly empathize with.

We dramatize it. We imagine ourselves desperate heroes, courageously fighting despite gaping wounds and gasping breathe. We feel our hearts throb with joy as we watch stories of people overcoming pain to defeat their foes at long last.

Pain, in our culture, is often a dragon. And we thrill to see it defeated by our heroes. We thrill to see our heroes be beaten to the ground, be beaten past all endurance--only to rise at long last to defeat their dragons.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Stories

Considering this blog is all about stories and thoughts and looking below the surface colors of the world.... I thought I'd pull up some older thoughts about stories themselves. Or at least how I view them.

I name thee my artsy post... So I shalt add many artsy
photos to make it look like my thoughts are very deep.

Because in the end, what is a story? A pile of squiggles thrown onto a page. A storm of pictures breathed from a metal box. A heap of memories sewn into a cloak of a daydream. A sea of sound waves flung out into the ears of another.

I mean seriously, doesn't this seem crazy to anyone else? We live, fight, love, cry, rejoice, and let our emotions get uproariously manipulated because of combinations of sounds and black marks. I mean isn't that crazy?


Life doesn't always make sense.

I guess that's what makes it beautiful.

The New Sexy

Recently, I saw two movies that were just really refreshing (two refreshing characters to be precise).

The first was in the R rated film Kiss Kiss Bang Bang which, while I liked it, Don’t Watch It. 

But! At one point, I just was like “Yes!!!”, I think I actually said that aloud. 

Anyway, this girl falls asleep on the couch at this party, and a guy, we'll call him Mark, comes in and begins to grope her leg and looking at her, and you just feel really really gross, and then the protagonist, Harry, comes in, he doesn’t even know her, but he’s like, “Don’t you f***ing touch her!” And Mark is twice Harry's size and ends up beating the crap out of him. But I was like wow, that was really impressive. (impressively bad, Am I right?)

Thoughts on Summer in General

Apologies. This was supposed to be posted much earlier, and was written, but I was gone all day so I didn't post it.... sorry....

Idilic summer days are here at last.

JK! Welcome to the wacky world of try-to-cram-in-as-much-as-we-possibly-can-in-the-three-short-months-of-break!

I mean seriously. Remember how you said things like "I'll do that over the summer" or "Well, just wait until summer. Then I'll have plenty of time for that!"

I now have stopped Chirascuro Sun from taking the GIF Supreme trophy.

FOOLS! YOU HAVE LIED TO YOUR SOULS!